Yesterday I was on Ryde beach, one of the nicest beaches on the Isle of Wight. Unfortunately, so were a group of 30-odd people walking their dogs. So very soon the idyllic soft golden sand became littered with turds and infested with flies. Not the kind of thing I want to be the crowning glory on top of my sandcastle.
I could bang on about dogpoo containing toxocara eggs (roundworm) and say that someone I knew became infected and lost an eye. I could point out that there are plenty of other places to take your pet for a communal shit, that the tide was out a long way and that there was a vast expanse of mudflats which would have been marginally more preferable for use as a dog toilet.
But all I really need to say is this : It's FUCKING DISGUSTING. It's like rounding up all of your mates and getting them to shit all over a kiddie's playground. It's like playing a game of 'Catch the Crap' in the middle of a crowded cinema. It's like saving up a week's worth of poo in plastic bags and emptying them into the local swimming baths in the middle of the Mothers and Toddlers Group session.
IF YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR PETS UNDER CONTROL FUCK THE FUCK OUT OF SUCH A PUBLIC PLACE YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BASTARDS, OR I WILL COME ROUND AND TAKE A DUMP IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR LIVING ROOM AND WIPE MY ARSE ON YOUR TEATOWELS.
